Please come & talk to me
Some people can just walk into a crowd and know what to say to everyone. Other people simply just feel like a fish out of water. Secretly, they envy the communication skills of others and try to get close to them, so some of the conversation will rub off on them. But, inevitably, when “Conversation Carl” leaves the area, communication just stops.
Taking the time to improve communication skills prior to entering those situations can make a tremendous difference in the way people react and respond to you.
One of the most important things you can realize about communication is that very little of it has to do with the words you say. Most communication is non-verbal, from the body language and facial expressions to the tone and pace of our voice. People are receiving communication from you before you even speak a word.
If you enter into a situation where you are feeling nervous and cross your arms, avoid prolonged eye contact, and have a nervous look on your face, others will not see an invitation to approach you.
Drop your fences a little. Your frightened posture is scaring them away.
Smile at everyone as if you are just about to engage in a conversation with a friend you are excited to see. Think in advance what a few opening lines might be and then use them. When you know what you are going to say and say it with purpose, others respond to that.
If you are still not sure about how it will work, then simply ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” The person might say, “I’m sorry, but I need to go meet someone.” Or they might hang out and talk to you long enough to begin the development of a lifelong friendship.
Once in the conversation, there are several key things you want to keep in mind.
- If you are complimented, say, “thank you.” Resist any temptation to minimize or negate their compliment in any way. By negating their compliment, you might be trying to show false humility, but in fact, you are insulting their opinion.
- Ask open-ended questions that will most likely develop into a conversation. Do not ask a question that can likely be answered with less than five words unless you are ready to immediately follow it up with a more open-ended question.
When the person begins talking, LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT THEY SAY UNTIL THEY ARE FINISHED. Do not be trying to find an opening in their speaking to interject your thoughts. Your thoughts are not important until you have a full grasp of theirs.
- On the flip side, be sure to not dominate the conversation by speaking too long before letting the other person respond.
- Show complete respect for what they say, even if you disagree. Starting a debate or a battle with a new person you meet is a sure way to squash their perception of you.
- You are an interesting person and have a lot to add to the lives of others. Learning how to convey that is worth the time and energy spent learning, rehearsing, and practicing new communication skills and techniques and will pay off in the end.
To learn more, visit http://www.CommunicationEssence.com
